On Eid Holiday

And this place is like a chocolate lover's heaven. The steamin' hot cup of chocolate. And all the mush. Those dark chocolates in your mouth.Yummmmmmm it was. :D

For those who love seafood, you could try to eat at Seafood Mulyono 94 at Jalan Kalimati Mangga Dua. Delicious seafood with cheap price :D

On The Life I called Regret

Bunch of regrets. Mistake made, another one again.
I am undeniably dumb and never picked the right person.
Terrible judgment and being incapable of choosing right choices, those are all i am.

I realize that I was the subject to my own wild imagination, day dreams, fantastic fantasies, wishful thinking, false assumptions and fake pretences.
I let you rule my head when I very well know that the 'you' I knew doesn't exist anymore.
A beautiful, scintillating, bewitching and wonderful illusions metamorphose into bittersweet fragments of reality...
I am wasted. I am jaded. I am weak...weak because the cold, harsh, bitter winds of reality pierce me, cut me, strangle me.
Stupid me for thinking that I would not slip in puddles, never slide in mud-filled puddles and get dirt all over myself but I slip.
I slip and I crash and I fall. I am vulnerable, tearful, weak...

And I saw you...standing over there...laughing at me.
"Stop knocking on locked doors. Stop looking for lost treasures on lonely islands. Stop diving in a bottomless pit called lust. Just stop killing yourself with the past. Learn, dear, learn for you are the only one who suffers. Because there is no such thing as boring as staying." You said

But I never learn, didn't I?

And once again you win. A trophy. A token of my stupidity.
You...just insert the coin and I am becoming that girl who is familiar with pain and talk the language of sorrow fluently.

Girl With The Scarf

Bought a new scarf for Eid, took a pic and voila...

Tbh i didn't use it properly, no pin, no ciput inside just put it on my head and round it on my head. I love it because this scarf made my skin looks a bit white #darkskincolorgirl'sfirstproblem

When Love Arrives

I've become a fan of Slam poetry and story teller these days and I found this beautiful poem and amazing performance by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye on YouTube last night, I can resist to hit repeat button over and over again. It may sound cliche but some of what they said about love in this poem are true. Give it a try to listen to it and I'll know you'll love it too...just like me. Enjoy!!!



I knew what love looks like – in seventh grade. Even though I hadn’t met love yet, if love had wandered to my home room. I would’ve recognized him at first glance. Love wore a hemp necklace. I would’ve recognized her at first glance, love wore a tight French braid. Love played acoustic guitar and knew all my favorite Beatles songs. Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me. And I knew, I just must be searching the wrong classrooms, just must be checking the wrong hallways. She was there, I was sure of it. If only I could find him.

But when love finally showed up, she had a bow cut. He wore the same clothes everyday for a week. Love hated the bus. Love didn’t know anything about the Beatles. Instead, every time I try to kiss love, our teeth got in the way. Love became the reason I lied to my parents. I’m going to – Ben’s house. Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor, but made sure we never missed a slow song. Love waited by the phone because she knew if her father picked up the phone it would be: “Hello? *Breathe voice* Hello? *breathe voice* I guess they hung up.”

And Love grew, stretched like a trampoline. Love changed. Love disappeared, slowly, like baby teeth, losing parts of me I thought I needed . Love vanished like an amateur magician, and everyone could see the trapdoor but me. Like a flat tire, there were other places I planned on going, but my plans didn’t matter. Love stayed away for years, and when love finally reappeared, I barely recognized him. Love smelt different now, had darker eyes, a broader back. Love came with freckles I didn’t recognize. New birthmark, a softer voice. Now there were new sleeping patterns, new favorite books. Love had songs that reminded him of someone else, songs love didn’t like to listen to, so did I.

But we found a park bench that fit us perfectly, we found jokes that make us laugh. And now, love makes me fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies. But love will probably finish most of them for a midnight snack. Love looks great in lingerie but still likes to wear her retainer. Love is a terrible driver, but a great navigator. Love knows where she’s going. It just might take her two hours longer than she planned. Love is messier now, not as simple. Love uses the words “BOOBS” in front of my parents. Love chews too loud. Love leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Love uses smiley face in her text messages. And turns out, LOVE SHITS!.

But love also cries and love will tell you “you are beautiful” and mean it, over and over again. “You are beautiful” when you first wake up. “You are beautiful” when you’ve just been crying. “you are beautiful” when you don’t want to hear it. “You are beautiful” when you don’t believe it. “You are beautiful” when nobody else will tell you. “You are beautiful” love still thinks “you are beautiful”. But love is not perfect and will sometimes forget, when you need to hear it most, you are beautiful, do not forget this.

Love is not who you were expecting. Love is not who you can predict. Maybe love is in New York city, already asleep, you are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone. Maybe love is not ready for you. Maybe you are not ready for love. Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type. Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce. Love looks older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered. Maybe love is only there for a month.Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit. May be love stays. Maybe love can’t. Maybe love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, and love leaves exactly when love must. When love arrives, say “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.” If love leaves, ask her to leave door open behind her. Turn off the music, listen to the quiet. Whisper, “Thank you. For stopping by”

Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye “When Love Arrives”

Iftari

Last week I joined an event "Ngabuburit Bersama Komunitas Hijabers Bekasi". Had so much fun with girls from KHB and the kids. May be I'm the one who's not wearing hijab in my daily and I feel so envy with them who looks so pretty wearing their Hijab with style and modesty. Here are some photos that taken from the event:

One thing I learned from that event is why can't we learn a little more about sharing and spend some of our money not in clubs or shopping mall but in an orphanage spreading smiles? Look at the kids, they were little, infinite bundles of joy showed as they received their gift packs.

I felt guilty, guilty for pretty much wasting my life for blowing up money and basking in the light of all things material. I need to find something productive to do like: volunteer with a charity, work at an orphanage - or something else which makes me feel like what I do actually matters.