On The Life I called Regret

Bunch of regrets. Mistake made, another one again.
I am undeniably dumb and never picked the right person.
Terrible judgment and being incapable of choosing right choices, those are all i am.

I realize that I was the subject to my own wild imagination, day dreams, fantastic fantasies, wishful thinking, false assumptions and fake pretences.
I let you rule my head when I very well know that the 'you' I knew doesn't exist anymore.
A beautiful, scintillating, bewitching and wonderful illusions metamorphose into bittersweet fragments of reality...
I am wasted. I am jaded. I am weak...weak because the cold, harsh, bitter winds of reality pierce me, cut me, strangle me.
Stupid me for thinking that I would not slip in puddles, never slide in mud-filled puddles and get dirt all over myself but I slip.
I slip and I crash and I fall. I am vulnerable, tearful, weak...

And I saw you...standing over there...laughing at me.
"Stop knocking on locked doors. Stop looking for lost treasures on lonely islands. Stop diving in a bottomless pit called lust. Just stop killing yourself with the past. Learn, dear, learn for you are the only one who suffers. Because there is no such thing as boring as staying." You said

But I never learn, didn't I?

And once again you win. A trophy. A token of my stupidity.
You...just insert the coin and I am becoming that girl who is familiar with pain and talk the language of sorrow fluently.