Stuck In Reverse

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you don't sleep
Stuck in reverse

You must remember that lyric from Coldplay, yeah that was what I felt last week. The world of work has become so cut-throat and competitive that it's sometimes like riding up an escalator the wrong way. You can't ever relax. I was so uninspired by my job that there was a moment when I did nothing but cry. I made a huge dreadful, blunder at work. I realized I'd wasted two years whingeing instead of doing something about it. And climax was last Wednesday. I cried out loud and I was so ashamed of it.

And one of a good friend of mine, she's really kind & picked me up from the office and we went to a cafe I forgot the name something start with Belgian Waffle...I'll let you know again once I remember. It's such a cozy place, we order waffle with ice cream and we talked. Actually she insisted me to talk about what happened that night. She's really taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my life. Sweet friend who saved my day with simply said "Don't get so upset about it. The person who never made a mistake never made much either." Thanks mate, I felt instantly a bit better.

It remind me about an article about ballet dancers. They do a dance class every single day whether they're performing or not. It's to see which side they're "falling" when they do their turns, see what bits they're likely to stumble over so they can practise & practise, and put it right. Mistakes are part of getting it right.

I don't wanna be a person who said with flat face " Look guys, I screwed up. I'm a fool. But hey, I'm human too. Just like you." Just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I can't start over. I made pledge, I recommitted.

An Old Picture That Cracks Me Up LOL Smiley Face

Well one of my friend Huseyin Cuga from Turkey had a vacation to Croatia on September 2010 and he suprised me with one of his email after he returned. He sent me a picture, he held a bottle of cola which have brand like my name "Siti Cola" in that picture. Yeah he just succeeded to crack me up LOL smiley face once I saw that picture.



P.S. Photo Courtesy : Huseyin Cuga

9.07PM

I'm not a workaholic but why the hell am I still sitting in my ofc at this hour with a stack of paperwork? I'm a tad tired! I'm sick n tired of all the messy lives around... why can't things be smooth for me and why can't I have freakin' perfect lives for crying out loud !!I need to cheer the fuck up. I feel so miserable. Works been fucking raping me all this week. All I wanna do now is dive onto my bed soonies.

People Change...Face it!!!!

I've learnt that people change, really bites and I have to face that fact and move on...I know right...It's even happen to friendship. We meet people...and all start to happen. From the shy first smiles and hellos, the chit-chats, the pigging-outs, the sharings, the laughters..to the bitter fights and sometimes it's end up with sour goodbyes.
Sad???? Yeah especially if you expect to meet your friends in primary school and expect them to stay with you as your friends or best friend even when you're nudging 30 or older. Cookie-cutter perfection, right? And when they don't that's when you feel a massive sense of betrayal and failure too at not being able to keep the friendship on the same intense level. But that's how the life it goes...Nothing last forever...yeah nothing...
For those of you who have long lasting friendship...I bows to you cuz you're lucky person to have friends like them.

p.s. I write this post cuz this time last year….everything was so different...last year we chat & hang out a lot, this year we start to lose some. I hope it's just a long see you later not goodbye. Because I hate goodbyes, I got misty eyes as they said farewell. I love you my friends